How to overcome the fear of rejection; 5 ways

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You are here because you want to learn how to overcome the fear of rejection. And that’s exactly what I will teach in this article.

Rejection hurts and looking for ways to overcome it and slam that door is the ultimate solution.

Without wasting time, let’s look at the 5 best ways to overcome your fear of rejection. But before that, let’s discuss 3 prime areas you are likely to face rejection, why, and what to do about it.

Job interview

Have you ever felt extremely uncomfortable waiting for a call for an interview?

Sweaty palmsshortness of breathincreased heart rate, and problems with speech ability are common signs when it comes to fear of rejection.

Howeverthese things are also a reason for the employer to reject the interviewee.

Selfconfidence and an air of authority are often critical when it comes to getting a jobPeople who suffer from fear of rejection may express the opposite of confidencesuch as insecurity and weaknessAt the same timeif you are afraid of rejectionyou may have problems when negotiating your contract.

Therefore, practice self-confidence whenever you are in a job interview.  Even though you may have the fear to lose the job, self-confidence might help you impress the interviewer consequently, securing the job.

Business negotiations


In many positionsthe need to impress the employer does not end with the interview.

Negotiating certain contracts with the company’s potential customersentertaining potential clients, selling products and services, and attracting potential customerscan be the responsibilities of the future job. All of these responsibilities can be difficult for people suffering from fear of rejection.

Sometimeseven a simple answer on the phone can cause anxiety in these people. Such scenarios can lead to worst cases like losing your job.

Again, practice, practice, and practice self-confidence when at work or even at school-whichever applies to your case.

Romantic dates

How to overcome fear of rejection


First meetings with potential partners can be scary for most of us.

However, people who suffer from the fear of rejection are more terrified when they think that there is a possibility that they may not be liked by the potential partner.

They start to focus on the qualities of the potential partner. And wondering if the partner would want another meeting with them. Such thoughts create problems in conversations. And makes it impossible for you to eat.  You will seem visibly stressed and excited.

Instead of worrying, relax, and believe everything will roll out well at the end. And even if you’ll fail to get a chance with your date, believe that was the best thing for the two of you.

Here are 5 best ways to overcome fear of rejection

1.Cultivate a good self-image

The reaction to rejection differs depending on the level of selfesteem.

If you are a person with low selfesteem, then you are most vulnerable to situations at risk of rejection. This is because any event that draws attention to your negative traits (real or imagined) will activate fear.

You’ll develop defense mechanisms related to anticipating a refusal (for exampleavoid meeting new people or proposing a project at work).

People with high selfesteem try to consolidate both cognitively and behaviorallyafter being effectively rejectedadopting different protection mechanisms.

It results to deliberately break off the relationshipintensify efforts for selfaffirmationinvolvement in the activity, and establish new relationships.

In light of these findingsit is necessary to cultivate a good selfimage that will withstand the emotional earthquake caused by a possible rejection (especially romantic), and that will save your selfesteem.

This can be done by knowing your personality strengths. As an activity to cultivate a good self-image, make a list of at least ten positive traits you possess. You can also ask friends to list some qualities they appreciate in you. To avoid any awkwardness when asking them to do this, just ask them during your normal random conversations.

Again, try to maintain a positive attitude towards yourselfthanks for your physical appearanceetc.

2. Drop perfectionism

Perhaps nothing sustains the fear of rejection more than perfectionism. This because perfectionists have exaggeratedly high personal standards and are extremely sensitive to any sign of weaknessimperfection, or failure.

Most perfectionists come from parents who have passed on to themdirectly or indirectly. The idea of perfectionists and failure is that they are not good enoughand their intimate belief is that they can be accepted by others only if they do things perfectly.

No wonderthenthat even the slightest gesture of rejection is interpreted by them as palpable proof that they have failed to live up to their standards of performance.

If you are a perfectionist, then you need to start accepting the idea that you do not need to be perfect to have satisfactory relationships. Consequently, your fear of rejection will substantially reduce.

3. Develop unconditional acceptance of your own

How to get over fear of rejection


A major source of the fear of rejection is the conditions that people impose on themselves to consider themselves worthy of the loveapproval, and respect of those around them.

Regarding unconditional acceptancethe renowned American psychologist Albert Ellis states that an individual “accepts himself fully and unconditionallywhether he behaves intelligentlycorrectlycompetently or not and whether others approverespectlove or not.” (Ellis1977).

When you accept yourself unconditionally, you sendmessage to those around you that you are worthy to be loved as you are todaywith your qualities and weaknesses. Consequently,  increasing your chances of being accepted.

But even if you happen to be rejectedthe fact that you can accept yourself without emotionally depending on the approval of othershelps you to recover more easily after a relational failure andimplicitlyreduces the fear of rejection.

4. Avoid assumptions on what others think about you


Among the mistakes that people who are afraid of rejection frequently make are the habit of making negative assumptions about what others think about their attractiveness and/or competence.

The fear of being rejected often hides the fear of appearing in the eyes of others as inappropriateincompetentunattractiveand the thought that others evaluate you negatively and will automatically reject you is as inhibiting as possible in relationships of any kind.

To get rid of the tyranny of negative assumptionstry to ask for feedback from as many acquaintancescolleagues, and friends as possible.

You may be surprised to find that you were wrong about them and that people have a better opinion of you than you thought.

This does not necessarily mean that the project you want to present to the boss will be enthusiastically accepted from the first momentjust because he told you that he considers you a capable and intelligent man.

Howeverit helps to keep in mind that rejection does not come with negative evaluations from those who refuse and that things are much more nuanced in reality.

Get it clear that rejection is not a reflection of what other people think of you. It’s neither a reflection of your capabilities.

5. Get progressive exposure to situations at risk of rejection

This technique is used successfully in reducing anxiety caused by the thought of possible rejection and involves gradual exposure to situations you are afraid of.

Anxietygenerating thoughts are identified to replace rejection with positive thoughts that help increase selfconfidence until the fear disappears.

Iffor exampleyou are afraid that you will be rejected by the girl you like and do not dare to propose a datetake a period of risk of being refused in less emotionally charged situations. For example, asking for various favors from acquaintances.

Choose at least one rejection a day. It will be easier to beargiven that expectations and emotional investment are much lower.

In the meantimeyou will learn to accept more easily that rejection is an integral part of life and you will be able to treat it as a normal fact.

In conclusion,

I hope this article has helped you learn the best ways on how you can overcome fear of rejection. You can do it and always remember…you’re stronger than you imagine.

Now It’s your time to practice and see the amazing effects it will have on your life.

Here at All Things Mental Health, we are always happy to read your feedback. So, let us know your thoughts in the comment section.

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