You are here because you want to learn how to overcome the fear of rejection. And that’s exactly what I will teach in this article.
Rejection hurts and looking for ways to overcome it and slam that door is the ultimate solution.
Without wasting time, let’s look at the 5 best ways to overcome your fear of rejection. But before that, let’s discuss 3 prime areas you are likely to face rejection, why, and what to do about it.
Have you ever felt extremely uncomfortable waiting for a call for an interview?
Sweaty palms, shortness of breath, increased heart rate, and problems with speech ability are common signs when it comes to fear of rejection.
However, these things are also a reason for the employer to reject the interviewee.
Self–confidence and an air of authority are often critical when it comes to getting a job. People who suffer from fear of rejection may express the opposite of confidence, such as insecurity and weakness. At the same time, if you are afraid of rejection, you may have problems when negotiating your contract.
Therefore, practice self-confidence whenever you are in a job interview. Even though you may have the fear to lose the job, self-confidence might help you impress the interviewer consequently, securing the job.
In many positions, the need to impress the employer does not end with the interview.
Negotiating certain contracts with the company’s potential customers, entertaining potential clients, selling products and services, and attracting potential customers, can be the responsibilities of the future job. All of these responsibilities can be difficult for people suffering from fear of rejection.
Sometimes, even a simple answer on the phone can cause anxiety in these people. Such scenarios can lead to worst cases like losing your job.
Again, practice, practice, and practice self-confidence when at work or even at school-whichever applies to your case.
First meetings with potential partners can be scary for most of us.
However, people who suffer from the fear of rejection are more terrified when they think that there is a possibility that they may not be liked by the potential partner.
They start to focus on the qualities of the potential partner. And wondering if the partner would want another meeting with them. Such thoughts create problems in conversations. And makes it impossible for you to eat. You will seem visibly stressed and excited.
Instead of worrying, relax, and believe everything will roll out well at the end. And even if you’ll fail to get a chance with your date, believe that was the best thing for the two of you.
Here are 5 best ways to overcome fear of rejection
1.Cultivate a good self-image
The reaction to rejection differs depending on the level of self–esteem.
If you are a person with low self–esteem, then you are most vulnerable to situations at risk of rejection. This is because any event that draws attention to your negative traits (real or imagined) will activate fear.
You’ll develop defense mechanisms related to anticipating a refusal (for example, avoid meeting new people or proposing a project at work).
People with high self–esteem try to consolidate both cognitively and behaviorally, after being effectively rejected, adopting different protection mechanisms.
It results to deliberately break off the relationship, intensify efforts for self–affirmation, involvement in the activity, and establish new relationships.
In light of these findings, it is necessary to cultivate a good self–image that will withstand the emotional earthquake caused by a possible rejection (especially romantic), and that will save your self–esteem.
This can be done by knowing your personality strengths. As an activity to cultivate a good self-image, make a list of at least ten positive traits you possess. You can also ask friends to list some qualities they appreciate in you. To avoid any awkwardness when asking them to do this, just ask them during your normal random conversations.
Again, try to maintain a positive attitude towards yourself, thanks for your physical appearance, etc.
2. Drop perfectionism
Perhaps nothing sustains the fear of rejection more than perfectionism. This because perfectionists have exaggeratedly high personal standards and are extremely sensitive to any sign of weakness, imperfection, or failure.
Most perfectionists come from parents who have passed on to them, directly or indirectly. The idea of perfectionists and failure is that they are not good enough, and their intimate belief is that they can be accepted by others only if they do things perfectly.
No wonder, then, that even the slightest gesture of rejection is interpreted by them as palpable proof that they have failed to live up to their standards of performance.
If you are a perfectionist, then you need to start accepting the idea that you do not need to be perfect to have satisfactory relationships. Consequently, your fear of rejection will substantially reduce.
3. Develop unconditional acceptance of your own
A major source of the fear of rejection is the conditions that people impose on themselves to consider themselves worthy of the love, approval, and respect of those around them.
Regarding unconditional acceptance, the renowned American psychologist Albert Ellis states that an individual “accepts himself fully and unconditionally, whether he behaves intelligently, correctly, competently or not and whether others approve, respect, love or not.” (Ellis, 1977).
When you accept yourself unconditionally, you send a message to those around you that you are worthy to be loved as you are today, with your qualities and weaknesses. Consequently, increasing your chances of being accepted.
But even if you happen to be rejected, the fact that you can accept yourself without emotionally depending on the approval of others, helps you to recover more easily after a relational failure and, implicitly, reduces the fear of rejection.
4. Avoid assumptions on what others think about you
Among the mistakes that people who are afraid of rejection frequently make are the habit of making negative assumptions about what others think about their attractiveness and/or competence.
The fear of being rejected often hides the fear of appearing in the eyes of others as inappropriate, incompetent, unattractive, and the thought that others evaluate you negatively and will automatically reject you is as inhibiting as possible in relationships of any kind.
To get rid of the tyranny of negative assumptions, try to ask for feedback from as many acquaintances, colleagues, and friends as possible.
You may be surprised to find that you were wrong about them and that people have a better opinion of you than you thought.
This does not necessarily mean that the project you want to present to the boss will be enthusiastically accepted from the first moment, just because he told you that he considers you a capable and intelligent man.
However, it helps to keep in mind that rejection does not come with negative evaluations from those who refuse and that things are much more nuanced in reality.
Get it clear that rejection is not a reflection of what other people think of you. It’s neither a reflection of your capabilities.
5. Get progressive exposure to situations at risk of rejection
This technique is used successfully in reducing anxiety caused by the thought of possible rejection and involves gradual exposure to situations you are afraid of.
Anxiety–generating thoughts are identified to replace rejection with positive thoughts that help increase self–confidence until the fear disappears.
If, for example, you are afraid that you will be rejected by the girl you like and do not dare to propose a date, take a period of risk of being refused in less emotionally charged situations. For example, asking for various favors from acquaintances.
Choose at least one rejection a day. It will be easier to bear, given that expectations and emotional investment are much lower.
In the meantime, you will learn to accept more easily that rejection is an integral part of life and you will be able to treat it as a normal fact.
I hope this article has helped you learn the best ways on how you can overcome fear of rejection. You can do it and always remember…you’re stronger than you imagine.
Now It’s your time to practice and see the amazing effects it will have on your life.
Here at All Things Mental Health, we are always happy to read your feedback. So, let us know your thoughts in the comment section.
You may also like “How to recognize and treat anxiety without medication.”