7 traits of toxic people & How to deal with them

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You’re probably here because there’s this one, two or worse- three people in your life you feel are toxic and are draining all the energy out of you…But how do you deal with toxic people?

Well, every person from time to time can be a thorn to others. Bad mood, poor health, problems, crisis and stress – greatly affects our behavior and communication with close (and not so) people. So, a bad mood and “got up on the wrong foot” does not make a person toxic- get that right first.

However, toxic people have the ability to inject poison to others. They can be a pain in the ass. They can turn your days into weeks. But how do you deal with them? How do you protect yourself?

So let’s get solutions by first looking at the 7 common signs of a toxic person and then look at how to deal with toxic people.

Here are the traits of toxic people

1. Toxic people want to be always right

Proving their case by all means is their trick. Not admitting their mistakes – too. Neither common sense nor the feelings of other people are taken into account. These are the people who make everyone around them guilty. They are not ready to be held accountable for their actions

Toxic people must necessarily be right in any situation, otherwise he/she will begin to collapse from the inside, and then the magic will disappear. A seed of doubt will be sown in his mind: “what if I am really wrong?” This is a very dangerous thought that can lead to sad conclusions. And they will be followed by the need to change oneself, views, priorities, values ​​and, in general, the whole way of life. This is a very undesirable turn of events, you understand. Therefore, their own righteousness will be defended to the last. For toxic people, it’s a matter of survival.

2. Toxic people are selfish

How to deal with toxic people

Toxic people are more likely misanthropes. But if you can be used for your own purposes, if it is easy to sit on your neck, you will surely be among the favorites of a toxic person. And in a sense, he will even love you, if this word is generally appropriate here.+

3. Toxic people do not give

They always take everything useful and necessary from the world and relationships: emotions, material things, they benefit from a very different nature.

The main thing is that they consume. If they give something, it is only for some purpose. Most likely, this return will result in a very long-lasting and hidden manipulation.+

4. Alone he only gets worse

In public, he can be the nicest person. But alone with a toxic person, you can alternately experience “thanks to him” feelings of guilt, shame, resentment, jealousy, humiliation. He will constantly “help” you to drop your dignity. And make you the same guilty for everything that happened. And in your tears – including.

5. Toxic people have sudden mood swings

Just a second ago, you had a nice conversation, but now from the same person, the Arctic cold and even cruelty blows. Most likely, you have entered the forbidden lands of his interests, where nothing can be touched or changed. And you, most likely, do not like something. And you want to bring chaos into such a comfortable and selfishly arranged world. Well, you’ve defiled the shrine, get ready for an icy soul. Best case scenario.

6. Toxic people turn people against each other

You will be methodically set up against other people, proving that they cannot be trusted. You can’t trust anyone at all! Especially for those who really care about you: parents, family members, colleagues, friends. Everyone who can open your eyes to what is happening, who is able to remove the spell of a toxic person, falls out of favor.+

7. Toxic people are fond of lying

How to deal with toxic people

●      you misunderstood

you had  heard wrong
●      I didn’t mean what
●      there’s nothing like that. You’re misinterpreting
●      you twist my words

If you often hear such phrases from someone – take a closer look at him. Most likely, you will also consider lies there. And these are all ways toxic people use to manipulate others.

The most important thing is that, to one degree or another, we all periodically sin with the above. You must first understand this in order to hang such a serious label on a person as a “toxic asshole”, and even more so – to erase him from your life, you need a systematic combination of several factors.

You know, sometimes it’s easier to put a label on anyone, just not to work on your patience, understanding and acceptance of other people’s shortcomings. Be vigilant – by hanging labels, you may not see your own symptoms.

Now let’s look at  7 ways to deal with toxic people

1.Give up dubious care.

Learn to distinguish sincere care from self-assertion. Some people help you in such a way that you are no longer happy to help. He can be too annoying, hypertrophied, with long-term consequences (I helped you, but you…) etc. Such help creates the feeling of worry and we have the impression that this man is not indifferent, that he worries about us, but that he does not know how to say this.

We begin to justify it, to feel sorry for it, to tolerate it, and finally to try a sense of guilt. By giving such “help”, toxic people root their sense of self-importance, and this is an excellent lever for handling.+

So learn to say briefly and clearly “no, thank you.” If he reacts negatively to your refusal (most likely a toxic person will react that way), let him deal with his outrage alone. All you do is defend your borders.

2. Set and defend your borders

Any healthy relationship must have clearly defined boundaries. All the more so should they exist with heavy people. Toxic people are very evasive – it is very difficult to get something concrete from them, because the more vague the answer, the easier it is to distort what is said and turn the claims in its favor.

You are the one who will have to draw the boundaries. State clearly and clearly the rules on which the relationship between you should be based. Yes, you can say directly “please, don’t come into my room without knocking on the door” or “I don’t work in my free or unpaid hours”, or “loud conversations are inadmissible for me”. You have every right not to be comfortable for everyone.

Also read; Why healthy relationships still have boundaries-  How to set boundaries

3.Take a step back.

Sometimes it is more correct and wise to take a step back and not rush into controversy or conflict, or this is often a trap. It is important to act in cold blood, so as not to lose your vigilance, to be able to observe the traps in time and not to be misled by being blinded by emotions. Don’t get caught up in a conflict. You will definitely lose. Remember, retreating does not always mean losing the war.

4. The challenge of staying true to yourself

My number one tip s is to keep to yourself. Let me explain that.

Staying with yourself is actually quite a challenge. However, as you get the hang of it, you will find yourself in control of your thoughts and feelings. If someone next to me is negative, then I will not lower myself to his level by, for example, complaining or annoying me, or worse: taking over and becoming negative myself.

If you don’t stay with yourself, you will find that someone else can steal your energy. Ask yourself: And do I go along with the energy that the other radiates, or do I choose my own path?

So use negative people as a challenge! If a negative person does or says something, tell yourself (out loud or not, it doesn’t matter), “I see a challenge here.”

Ask yourself: Can I stay calm? Can I stay with my own energy? Can I stay in the here and now? Here I mean not want you to leave the situation or pretend it is not there, but the situation just use it to stay in your own strength too.

Another challenge is not to complain about it, because then you actually let the other person ‘win’. Winning is of course in quotation marks, because it is not a competition. So don’t get drowned in someone else’s bath full of pessimism. Recognize it and use it for the better.

5. Don’t get too close to your heart

Toxic people will always try to accuse you of something, to prove to you in a way that you are wrong, trying to get something or simply justifying their behavior. If you have remorse or a sense of guilt, know that you got caught. Try not to lose your version of the situation. Don’t let them shatter your positions. Keep repeating that in addition to you, at least one person is involved in the situation. And that at least both are guilty (usually if it’s someone’s fault).

6. Don’t give in to emotions

A man hiding his face with a simling sticker probably because he doesn't want to give into emotions as a way to deal with toxic people

Emotions, that’s what toxic people want. They parasitize emotions. They will provoke you and press you until scandal, tears, hysteria and mass punching. Only when you are exhausted will they leave you alone. You feel bad, and he triumphs over joy. This is why you often feel tired and in a bad mood after communicating with them. You could experience a wide range of emotions from fear, insult, hatred to anxiety and guilt. That’s why he doesn’t let her challenge you. Keep your cool. If you feel that you are starting to lose your temper, find any excuse to end the dialogue. You will resume it when you control your emotions.

7. Try to forgive

This is the most complicated point, but with miraculous effects. A lot happens in life. Sometimes you can understand a person’s motives – then it’s easier to forgive him. But when you do not understand why man has acted in a certain way, it is much harder to do so. In such situations, remember a simple truth – each of us has reason to behave in this way and not differently. This refers to both good and bad deeds.+

Therefore, toxic people have good reason to behave as such. These may not be obvious, but they certainly are. It wasn’t the happy episodes of the past that turned us into monsters. Obviously, the victim of the toxic man does not necessarily have to know everything behind his behavior. One thing is important – be aware that hatred and pretensions do you no good. Therefore, if you do not want to destroy your peace, good mood and harmony with your own hand, then learn to forgive people and move on without a burden on your soul. These are the best thing you can do for yourself and your family.

Conclusion

It is important to identify toxic people in your life and know how to deal with them accordingly. I hope with post have helped you understand who is a toxic person, toxic people trait and common toxic people signs.
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