9 Brilliant ways on how to calm someone down

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If you’re wondering on the best tips on how to calm someone down, then you’ve come to the right place.

The main questions you need to ask yourself is how do I help this person relax? And how fast can I do it?

When calming someone down, it’s best if you can help them reduce the stressful situation they’re in. Not only will that speed up how quickly they get calmed down, but it also helps them remain calm.

Now how do you actually calm someone down? It’s actually very simple, but it comes with a large list of what to not say.

All you have to do is control how this person feels by using words. But in order for that to work, you must focus on how the listener will react. This means that you need to know how they will react to a certain word, how it makes them feel.

Make sure that you know how they are feeling and how you can help them get out of their current state.

If you want the basics on how to calm someone down fast, here are tips on what to say and do when calming someone down.

Tips on how to calm someone down

How to calm someone down

1) Talk calmly while they get worked up

This makes it easier for them to settle down as they get a chance to understand how they’re feeling and how it’s affecting how they react.

When you talk calmly, this also helps them to calm down easier as well as helping them realize how irrational the way they’re reacting is.

2) Don’t try to fix everything for someone else

It not only makes it harder for the person to calm down, it also makes them feel like they’re helpless.

3) Don’t switch how you talk too much

It may not be how you normally talk, but this is how the person is reacting to what’s going on around them and how they’re feeling.

If you start talking about how great everything will be as soon as this is over, how can they really focus on how they feel?

4) Don’t lecture someone

Lecturing won’t help how someone is feeling and will only make the person feel worse about how they’re behaving in the situation.

People need to calm down on their own without you scolding them how bad their behavior is or how upset you are how bad they’re treating you.

5) Try to find some good in how the person is feeling or how they’re behaving

The more positive you can be, the easier it is for someone to remain calm and take what you say seriously.

It also helps them focus on what you’re saying instead of getting worked up how their problems should be solved.

6) Don’t get too caught up trying to solve everything for someone else

If you’re asking ‘how’ too much, it usually means you’re not taking the time to help them work things out on their own.

Keep in mind that they need to learn how to handle situations like this on their own get too caught up trying to solve everything instead help them to calm down first then the rest can follow.

7) Don’t blame yourself for how someone else is feeling or behaving

It’s not your fault and you don’t need to feel like you need to fix it. When a person feels bad about themselves, they’ll try to take out that frustration on the people around them.

They do this to feel better about themselves. However, it’s most important that you realize this and not blame yourself for their feelings or behaviour.

8) Try to remain as calm as possible when talking with an upset person

You want to set an example for them but also give them some reassurance that things will be okay. So don’t try shouting or looking worried- this won’t help them in any way.

9) Show them that you care without being overbearing

If they feel like they’re treated better and more positively by the people around them, it will help them to calm down faster as well as feel better about themselves which will make calming someone down much easier.

It’s also important how they get this sense of caring before you have to start calming them down.

Tips for dealing with an upset person:

How to calm someone down

1) Give them space

When a person is upset, they need a few minutes or hours to calm down by themselves – time away from any problems or stressful situations.

You can’t force them to calm down, they’ll have to do this themselves.

It’s important for you to keep yourself under control as well.

How a person reacts is partially their choice but also partly based on the emotions and actions of others around them.

If someone is upset by what happened earlier, giving them some time helps them calm down and think more positively about the situation.

2) Do a fun activity together

One of the quickest ways to calm someone down is to get them involved in doing something they enjoy – either with others or on their own.

For example, if you know their favourite game, you can play with them Or if they like music, getting them a CD and telling them you’re going to play it later when everyone is finished with what they’re doing will help them feel better immediately.

3) Ask Questions on how you can help in the future

Once the person has calmed down enough, ask them some questions about what how they feel, what you can do to help solve the problem and what you can do cheer them up.

Ask them what they think you could have done better or if there’s anything else you could do to help in the future.

4) Encourage them

Bring up the positives of how they’re behaving and feeling, even if it seems too forced or fake at first. How something positive happened will often help calm down and stay that way.

5) If a person is really upset, they might need someone else around who’s already calmed down to help sort things out together.

While you won’t try to calm them down again, talking with another friend will often give someone the confidence to make their own decisions and come up with a plan.

6) If someone is getting upset again, show them that you’re there for them but also remind them of what they decided to do before or offer to help in the moment if possible.

This will show that they’re supported and loved by the people around them.

7) Don’t blame yourself for how upset they’re

Don’t blame yourself for how someone else is feeling or behaving. It’s not your fault and you don’t need to feel like you need to fix it. When a person feels bad about themselves, they’ll try to bring down to their level.

8) Be supportive

Remember that being supportive is just as important as calming someone down in the first place. How they feel about themselves will directly affect how you can calm them down and make sure they maintain a positive attitude when dealing with others.


I hope this article has helped you get an idea on how you can calm someone down be it your friend, colleague or family.

If in any case the person you’re trying to calm down has any kind of shadow work that he or she needs to solve, here is a great place to start with shadow work journal prompts.

Check out our latest self development articles on the blog.

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