5 Tips to overcome low self-esteem in men

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A man with fear to mix with colleagues at work because he has social anxiety

Everyone sometimes suffers from low self-esteem. However, men have been seen as the worst group of people to overcome self-esteem issues. Such issues can be the result of a bad breakup, the loss of a job, upbringing, setbacks, and so on.

When something bad happens in your life or when things go wrong, it is normal for your inner critic to say things like ” You are not good enough ” or ” You will never be happy “.

This can affect your self-confidence and your self-image. Some people are more bothered by this. It limits them in the opportunities they will have in life.

So, what can you do to remedy, improve, or resolve your low self-esteem? That is what this post addresses and without wasting anytime let’s get into it.

What is low self-esteem?

Do you feel that you or someone in your environment is struggling with low self-esteem?

That can be very annoying. It can keep you from being truly happy because you are struggling with negativity in your head.

You can see your self-image as a spectrum. Your self-esteem can be high, medium, or low. When you have high or low self-esteem, it can be emotionally and socially damaging.

High self-esteem can quickly be perceived as arrogant, while a person with low self-esteem may be uncomfortable with social interaction. Perhaps an average level of your self-image is the most optimal.

People with high, average, or low self-esteem are very different from each other in behavior and thoughts.

Various studies have been conducted into people’s self-esteem, especially those with high and low self-esteem.

For example, people with high self-esteem focus more on growth and improvement, while people with low self-esteem focus more on preventing mistakes in life.

People with low self-esteem are also more likely to suffer from depression.

Scientifically Proven: Scientific research has also shown that people with low self-esteem are more likely to suffer from failure, performance anxiety, and a tendency to exaggerate, perceive, and judge situations and events as negative.

But what exactly is low self-esteem?

The following aspects can characterize individuals with low self-esteem.

Do you recognize one or more of the characteristics below?

  • Fear of failure, and even fear of failure;
  • The tendency to exaggerate, perceive, and judge situations and events as negative.
  • Experiencing non-critical comments as (negative) criticism.
  • Socially incapacitated. People with low self-esteem experience a sense of social anxiety, i.e. anxiety in interacting with other people. They can feel uncomfortable in social situations;
  • Have little faith in other people;
  • Have little personal confidence;
  • Shyness, they are often silent people;
  • They have trouble expressing themselves adequately in dealing with others;
  • Often pessimistic;
  • Uncertain;
  • They tend to underperform;
  • Not happy;
  • Angry and hostile;
  • Unmotivated
  • Downcast;
  • Dependent, a follower in social groups;
  • Not a daredevil;
  • Bad at communicating.

Do you recognize these characteristics? Read on to learn how to spot and improve your low self-esteem.

5 tips to overcome low self-esteem in men

Low self-esteem can keep you from living the life you want to live.

Do you know you have low self-esteem as a man? Then the following tips can help you improve your self-image.

Tip 1: Think about what affects your self-image

What influences your self-image? What makes you feel less or better? These things can be different for everyone.

You may find that your self-confidence has been diminished by a difficult past experience or a series of negative events, such as:

  • You best bullied or abused;
  • You have lost your job and/or have difficulty finding work;
  • You have persistent stress;
  • You have a physical illness that limits your life physically, emotionally and mentally;
  • You have mental health problems;
  • You are in a difficult relationship, divorced or divorced.

You may also have low self-esteem for as long as you can remember. In this case it is difficult to find out where it actually comes from.

“My self-esteem has almost disappeared. I no longer know how to deal with people and have a lot of trouble enjoying things that I enjoy. ”

Whatever the cause, it’s good to remind yourself that you have a right to feel good about who you are.

It can be difficult to break habits. Still, there are steps you can take that can help you feel better.

Tip 2: Avoid negative self-talk

I also briefly mentioned it earlier as a tip for low self-esteem in a relationship. It is a way of trying to reverse the negative self-talk.

For example, you can ask yourself the following questions:

  • Would I talk to my partner like that?
  • Would I feel that way about a loved one?

Then you discover that your negative self-talk is not only strange but also very unrealistic. You criticize yourself in a way that you will never treat others.

You can teach yourself to think and talk more positively about yourself by repairing the negative self-talk, to talk, and to improve. You can use cognitive therapy as an aid for this.

The influence of social media on our lives and the unrealistic image it presents is a huge pitfall.

We learn to constantly compare ourselves with others, while at the same time this is very bad for our self-image.

A social media stop will certainly have a positive effect on your self-image. You can try this for a period of time.

Tip 3: Connect with people who love you

You can quickly feel bad when you interact with people who treat you badly or don’t appreciate you.

So you can also turn this around and deal with people who love you, appreciate you and treat you well. This will have a positive effect on your self-image and how you feel.

You can consciously choose this by consciously planning time with these people. This can help you to remove and remedy the negative thoughts.

Your partner could be one of the people in your life who genuinely loves you. You can talk about this with your partner.

He/she can help you reimagine the way you view yourself. Ask your partner what he/she likes about you. This teaches you to see yourself as others see you.

Tip 4: Learn to be more assertive

If you don’t love yourself, it is also difficult to assume that others love you.

You may recognize in yourself that you try hard to help others so that others will like you.

This is a good quality in itself, but you can make a great effort to please others and therefore have little or no energy left to focus on your own health.

Becoming more assertive is a good way to build confidence.

For example, you can do the following:

  • Learn to say ‘no’ . Take a little break and take a deep breath before agreeing to something you don’t really want.
  • Set limits on how much you can do for others.
  • Take control of your own decisions (again)

It can be difficult to break habits at first, but making small changes to be more assertive can be very liberating.

Tip 5: Focus on your positives

It’s easy to automatically think you’re not good at something, especially when you have low self-esteem.

This can keep you from doing things you enjoy or trying new things. As a result, you get into a kind of vicious circle that only makes you think worse about yourself.

Why don’t you turn it around?

  • Celebrate your successes. Small as they may be, take the time to pat yourself on the back and think about what you did well.
  • Accept compliments from others. Even write them down so you can read them back when you doubt yourself.
  • Make a list of your good, strengths, and positive qualities. You can keep adding to this list. If you find this difficult, you can also ask a friend or family member if they would like to mention you’re good qualities.

Do you want more practical tips? Then read on quickly.

Recognize and resolve low self-esteem in a child

Do you suspect that your child may have low self-esteem? That can be very annoying for a parent.

You want the best for your child, but low self-esteem can limit your child’s potential in his or her life.

A child with low self-esteem

How can you recognize low self-esteem in your child and possibly solve or improve it?

It is good to realize that a child’s self-esteem during childhood is generally relatively high.

Yet there are individual differences. Children may be less happy because they experience feelings of low self-esteem.

This often has to do with things that are or are not being done to them.

For example, physical punishment or the lack of love, affection, and attention from the parents can result in the child’s self-image being negatively affected.

This also includes conditional love, where children only receive positive attention from others (the parents) when they behave or do certain things in a certain way.

This reinforces a child’s sense that they are only a person of value (are valuable, matter) when they behave in a certain way. For example when they get good grades or behave tough.

Children who have low self-esteem place a high value on adopting an adjustment strategy that is actually counterproductive. For example, bullying, lying, avoiding, and so on.

All children can display these characteristics, but a child with low self-esteem will behave like this on a regular basis.

You can also recognize children with low self-esteem by the way they behave socially.

These children are often withdrawn and shy. They find it difficult to have fun. They may have a wide range of friends but are more likely to give in to peer pressure that makes them vulnerable to being bullied.

Therefore, they will avoid trying new things in school and give up easily, for fear of failure or criticism from others.

Do you recognize these characteristics in your child? Then quickly read the practical tips at the end of this article.

Low self-esteem in a relationship

The things that happen in your life can have an effect on your confidence and your self-image.

Especially an emotional thing like a love relationship, in which you often make yourself vulnerable to the other.

How can your self-image affect your romantic relationship? What can you do to boost your confidence?

Scientifically Proven: Scientific research has shown that your self-image affects your satisfaction with the relationship just as much as that of your partner.

When you feel bad about yourself, these insecurities can be transferred to the interaction and your relationship with the other. This can therefore have a negative effect on both of you and your mutual relationship.

Moreover, your self-image can also disrupt your perception of your partner. The lower your self-esteem, the more you can feel threatened by you or your partner’s shortcomings.

You can therefore see your relationship very black and white, in other words, good or bad. As a result, you miss a lot of color in your relationship that may (still) be there.

‘Color’ naturally refers to beautiful things, memories, and (future) plans. Do you see color in your relationship?

You understand that this can put a heavy strain on your relationship with your partner.

If your beliefs about your partner are very variable and change quickly, you think positively about one moment and negative about the next. This can make the other person feel very insecure about you, your true feelings, and the relationship.

Predictability is very important in a relationship, or rather: stability. 

Also the stability and predictability of the feelings and the interaction between both partners. This appears to be an important indicator of the quality of the intimacy between both partners.

In addition to the fact that low self-esteem can affect your partner’s perception, this low self-esteem can also make you more anxious about the relationship in general. This is uncertainty.

You may fear that your partner is leaving you or panic about other factors. This can then lead to panic attacksstressanxiety and/or bad jealousy. None of these are constructive factors in a good relationship.

And now?

It may be that your self-image has only temporarily diminished or that you have felt bad about it for some time. The key to and building a better self-image lies in building more self-confidence so that the negative thoughts change.

Better self-esteem in a relationship: Reverse negative self-talk

You can start reversing the negative self-talk.

These are things that you often say to yourself but can have a huge influence on your self-image and self-confidence. If you mainly say negative things to yourself, it will affect the way you view yourself.

If you find yourself thinking that no one loves you or will ever find you attractive, you should stop it in a positive way.

Talk to yourself out loud and tell yourself that these negative statements are not realistic, but a distortion of reality. Then say something positive about yourself.

So when you think, ” You see, he doesn’t love me ” you have to stop yourself right away. This statement sounds like negative self-talk that is not realistic and something you talk to yourself.

Turn it around and say something positive about yourself. For example, “ He loves it when I take good care of him ”. Or “ He thinks these pants look great on me, so let me wear these pants today ”.

You can train yourself to consciously have positive thoughts. This can help you fight the negative thoughts.

The more you practice this, the stronger you will become and the more self-confidence you will gain.

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